Push Through Imposter Syndrome
If you ever feel like you’re faking it, this one’s for you. Today we’re talking about imposter syndrome – what it is, how I almost let it cost me my business, and tips for how feelings of imposter syndrome can be overcome.
Why on God’s green Earth do I feel like a fraud? I’m even suffering as I write this, thinking—
“Girl who cares about what you’re writing.”
I have trouble claiming success and the hardest time accepting my accomplishments. I didn’t think other people thought of me as successful until recently. As leaders/entrepreneurs, feelings of imposter syndrome can keep us stagnant. It is important to be able to identify feelings of imposter syndrome so we understand what the feelings are and how we can overcome them. The truth of the matter is, I’m not the only one experiencing this phenomenon. Imposter syndrome occurs in people all over regardless of career choice, age, race, or gender.
What is Imposter Syndrome, and Why Does it Matter?
Oxford Dictionary defines imposter syndrome as, “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s efforts or skills.” I went through most of my life this way and had no idea there was a term for what I was experiencing.
Imposter phenomenon or imposter syndrome is said to occur amongst high achievers who are unable to internalize and accept their success. Individuals who experience feelings of imposter syndrome attribute positive outcomes to luck or chance, with the fear that someone else will find out and expose them as a fraud.
I would like to highlight that the definition says imposter syndrome comes from one’s own beliefs about self. The way you think of yourself has a direct correlation to your mental health and happiness, and impacts what’s going on around you. If our minds are consistently plagued with negative thoughts, we give off negative energy and create negative outcomes.
I have felt this way at many stages in my life and still have these feelings creeping in from time to time. At almost 30 years old, I am just now learning and accepting that positive outcomes are a sum of my actions, and the things I’ve attained thus far are a testament to my capability to accomplish. BUT BABY, did it take some time to get here!
Some of the most common characteristics of imposter syndrome are lack of confidence, self-doubt, anxiety, distrust in one’s known skills, constant comparison to others, negative self-talk, feelings of inadequacy, downplaying accomplishments, and attributing success to luck – just to list a few.
Many of these characteristics were very present in my life, and sometimes still pop into the forefront of my mind.
In July 2021, imposter syndrome caused me to have an anxiety attack while driving. I was headed to teach my first concealed carry course; the class was set to be full, and my anxiety was on HIGH. As I was driving I remember negative thoughts and questions flooding my mind.
What qualifies me to teach? I haven’t even been doing this that long. I don’t know what I’m talking about! Will the class be able to tell I don’t know what I’m talking about? Did someone come to the class just to see me fail?
As the thoughts flooded my mind I could feel my anxiety bubbling. My mind was racing, my body was overheating, my breathing was heavy and it seemed like none of it was under my control.
The thoughts of being an imposter and being found out for a fraud almost cost me one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had. I was ready to give up teaching, my business, and my entrepreneurial vision because of the feelings I had about myself. Imposter syndrome almost caused me to walk away from my first entrepreneurial endeavor and settle for a more lowkey life.
After reflecting on the anxiety attack, what caused it, and the actual outcome of me teaching the class, I knew I had to do something about these feelings. I could NOT let the BOSS I know I’m destined to be die after one little scuffle with my thoughts! They had to be tamed.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Overcoming imposter syndrome may seem like a daunting task, but many have shown it’s possible to do. These are five tips I used to overcome my feelings of imposter syndrome (and I keep them handy for any time those feelings try to creep in).
Recognize Feelings of Imposter Syndrome
Our feelings and emotions act as a guide in determining our needs and wants. When we understand our feelings, we are better able to resolve conflicts, build relationships and move past negative feelings. Once I was able to understand what I was feeling I was able to determine why. The ‘why’ helped me manage my feelings in healthy ways, and served as a foundation for the other steps in overcoming imposter syndrome.
Being able to identify how I was feeling and why also made it easier for me to be open with others. Sharing my feelings with my mentor, trusted friends, and family was how I heard of imposter syndrome. They were reassuring and gave all the encouragement I needed to help me realize that I was possibly the only person who thought so many negative things about me.
Mindset Work
Having a positive mindset is a key driver to so many good things. What you believe to be true about yourself impacts rather you succeed or fail. How could you possibly expect a good outcome when “I’m not good enough” is on repeat in your head?
BUT LUCKY FOR US…mindsets can change. I realized that If I wanted good outcomes consistently, negative thoughts had to go!
I started by listening to affirmations from YouTube soon as I woke up in the morning. I made the decision that as soon as my mind is awake I want to start filling it with positive thoughts before anything else. At some point throughout the day, I would journal three things I’m grateful for and three things I love about myself. It might get repetitive but listing out positives about yourself and your life is a great way to help realize that negative talk and self-doubt are the real imposters.
Set Boundaries
In all areas of life, we should be setting boundaries! Setting boundaries is sharing your needs for the most-healthy interaction, for you. Heavy on the FOR YOU! When you set boundaries the only person you should consider is YOU. Not everyone will be happy with the boundaries you set, but if it allows you to achieve the levels of success you desire, TO HELL with what they think!
I struggled with setting boundaries! The thought of no longer speaking to or limiting interactions with certain family and friends was mortifying. It takes courage to set boundaries, but once they were in place I was better for it. Limit interactions with people who exacerbate your feelings of being an imposter and are consistently negative.
Define Your Success
Success is subjective. There is a general definition of the word but what we determine as success looks different to each of us. We don’t have to use dictionary definitions, mom’s definition, grandma’s definition, or mainstream America’s definition. We can define what success looks like from our points of view.
If your goal is to work every day and provide for your family and you’re doing so… then guess what? YOU’RE SUCCESSFUL. While the LLC police may not agree with your definition, you have still achieved your personal goal.
Comparison is a Thief of Joy
Whewwww chillleeeee…. When I say comparison is a thief of joy I mean it! Measuring yourself against the success of others can reinforce feelings of imposter syndrome.
I don’t compare myself to anyone, I have learned that my journey is my own. I have to go through certain things to get to where I’m headed and my journey does not look like anybody else’s. Just like others will go through things I’ll never have to endure. We all have 24 hours to make something happen, I’d rather spend mine working on my goals instead of attempting to compare my path to success.
Closing
It wasn’t until 2021 that I heard someone say it and thought to myself, “damn, I might just be successful.” I went through the last 12-15 years thinking the things I accomplished were normal and could be done by anybody. What I’ve since discovered is, everything I do to push me closer to my purpose is accomplished because I am CAPABLE. We are all CAPABLE of achievement! We all deserve to feel as if our accomplishments are a result of our actions. It’s a great feeling to be on your journey to success and CLAIM what you’ve done! TRY IT!
If you are looking for a community of women committed to success, self-love & living the best versions of life please visit mainsqueezeworldwide.com to sign-up and join us!